Dating

Hi Margaret Ruth,

I've been wanting to talk for a while now. I was dating this girl for 3 weeks. She already has 4 kids. I have 2 kids. She says she wants 1 more within the next year and a half. I really like her a lot, but a total of 7 children is just way too many in my opinion. Any advice? - Doug

This is an excerpt from Superconscious Relationships: The Simple Psychic Truths, written by me (If you are in the SLC area, you can also pick it up such as the county library and at Golden Braid Bookstore). In the book, we talk about the three things to do in authentic, rewarding relationships. Here is the beginning of the chapter that discusses Thing 1. - MR

We might all be aware, thanks to the plethora of relationship advice available in our culture, of the multitudinous ways we can mentally, physically and psychologically mess up our most important relationships though our words and actions. For instance, I was intrigued by a recent Cosmopolitan article (It was for research purposes. Really!) that listed some common relationships saboteurs and these were interesting and possibly even helpful.

Hello Margaret Ruth, might I be allowed a brief bit of girl advice? There's this girl at school who I think likes me, but as far as I know, she's way out of my league attractiveness wise, but she seems awfully flirty with me. What should I do? It just seems a bit too good to be true, any secret girl tricks here? - Logan

Hi Logan,

Psychic Margaret Ruth answered a reader's question about how to finally experience really great, long lasting relationships.

Margaret: First of all thanks for the great advice! I like reading your blog and your postings here a lot! So I had a question about friendship. I see people with lifelong friends and friends that have been around forever, but I have never experienced that. So I'm wondering: how I can make my relationships with friends more permanent? Thanks - C.C. Salt Lake City, UT

Dearest Margaret, My boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago because he is moving back to his country, Argentina. I feel that I love him and therefore I need to let him go do what he needs to do in his life. My problem is that there are times when I feel I need him and miss him so much that I lose this balance of surrender; sometimes I am overwhelmed with my emotions and miss him terribly and this causes an ache and sadness in my life. My question is how do I deal with the sadness of his absence in my life?

Dear Margaret,

You usually answer relationship questions without breaking down specific recommendations for male/male, female/female or female/male combinations. I think it would be interesting to see how advice might be different for these. What do you think about doing that sometimes? – C I think I would be very interested in seeing that too, and I am smiling as I type that. One reason for my interest is that I am gender stupid. I mean it. I can read personality really, really well (am damn accurate is what I am saying), but cannot usually tell the gender.

Many of the questions I get about romantic and dating relationships is the one where a person keeps finding him or herself repeating a not so happy dating pattern, over and over again. Many people I work with can see they keep dating or falling in love with a variation of the same problem, but they do not know how to stop the pattern. People ask, How do I stop this repetitive, destructive pattern? Often people tried very hard to avoid the problems from the past relationships, but the same issues came up again.

There is an American myth that two halves can come together in a loving relationship and become whole. However, contrary to cultural myths, close intimate relationships are not additive, where one half plus one half equals one. Close relationships are actually multiplicative. It is the whole Jerry McQuire myth problem: “You Complete Me!” This is all utter nonsense.