More On Online Dating from Lara H

(To add to the discussion about rejection from the previous post, here are some insights from Lara. Thank you Lara!) Hey MR! This is a great example. As someone with a LOT of online dating experience (for good or bad), I wanted to add this thought: Every day we might meet or see dozens, if not hundreds, of people. Even if we’re in a setting where we are expected to meet strangers, how often do you come out of a situation thinking everyone in the room is your soul mate? The truth is, some people can’t get over certain expectations that are part of their own hang-ups. Some guys, for example, would NEVER EVER get involved with a woman unless she’s very skinny, or has red hair, or whatever, (gals can be the same way, too), and when they meet someone who doesn’t have this characteristic, their “attraction” mode immediately disengages. This multiplies when you go online, because the guy hasn’t had the chance to check you out from afar, or chat with you up close, before he decides whether he digs you. Here’s a great example: I made a connection with a guy. Knowing the online dating ropes, I wanted to get together right away to see whether or not we were compatible in some of those ways I’ve previously mentioned… but not this guy. He insisted on dragging things out, talking on the phone or online every day for a couple weeks before finally agreeing to get together. We were getting along really well, and once we met, we had a terrific time. He was funny, and witty, and kind of cute. Immediately after leaving our date, he phoned me to say he thought I was awesome, but I just wasn’t his type… but because he liked me so much, he wondered whether we could still be friends. Obviously, this was about my physical appearance. I’m not ugly, but let’s just say I’m not svelt. He admitted he was after a girl with a “rocket body,” as he called it, and confessed he’d previously dated a girl with said bod, but dumped her because she wasn’t smart enough. “If only I could find someone with your personality and her body,” he told me, prompting me to call him shallow. “Funny,” he replied, “that’s what she called me, too. But it isn’t true!” Maybe it would be more flattering if every guy you met was desperate to get with you. But the overlying issue is that - most people you meet are just not your soul mate. Wouldn’t it be shocking if they WERE? For this reason, online dating can be really rough. You will put yourself out there again and again, hoping each time the person you meet is “THE ONE.” Think of it as a numbers game. You’re not going to get the jackpot every time you pull the lever… it takes a few tries, sometimes quite a few tries. Maybe online dating isn’t for you? I have met a few good guys that way. But it can be frustrating, and honestly, I had deactivated my account before my current guy came along and sent me a message. There was just something about him that made me sign back up to reply, and here we are. You just never know. Lara