Little White Lies of Convenience Do Not Really Work

White lies theoretically do not hurt anyone but they are harmful. They are harmful for you. Getting in the habit of saying things that are not true for you is metaphysically incorrect. Additionally, doing this broadcasts mixed messages, which does not help your close relationships in the long run. I have been finishing up my book's manuscript on Superconscous Relationships (The Simple Psychic Truths of Perfectly Satisfying Connections) this month. As you might already be guessing, being authentic and clear is really high on the list of requirements for conducting that kind of connection. Being genuine means transmitting a clear message so people can get to know the real us and can furthermore trust us. The book's illustrator had trouble with this "speak truthfully" concept. He claimed that you have to tell white lies for the sake of getting along. He offered the seemingly inarguable example of: "Say your wife asks you if she looks fat in that dress!" I responded with the even cleverer: "Dad, these memories of needing to tell little lies are from your two marriages, both of which are now defunct. Now that you are 72, perhaps it is ok to rethink reliance on the little white lie technique." The answer to "Do I look fat in these?" is your real truth, which is usually going to be more than a yes or no (although those work fine too if they express your full truth). Your genuine response to an emotionally loaded question like that one is going to be typically more complex, so don't fall back on bad habits of the little lies of convenience. Sincerely honest replies that reflect what is fully true for you will be harder to generate at first, until you have developed the habit, but it is necessary if you are aiming to be an authentic communicator. People's entirely truthful response to such a complex question is usually more like these: • I don't think you are fat - that is your issue - why would you ask me such a loaded question? • When I look at you, all I see is wonderful. Why would ask me such a question? • You know I don't think you are at a healthy weight -but that does not change how I feel about you. • Your insecurity about your looks has nothing to do with me. I completely and already love you and do not want to be responsible for dealing with your insecurities. I want you to deal with them. • I always think you look great unless you look tired, worn or stressed. • Your weight means nothing to me and I am getting tired of not being believed. • What I hear you say is that you are feeling insecure about your looks - is that right? • I hate this loaded question; ask me a different one. Never lie if you want the very best kind of relationships. If you open your mouth to say something - whatever falls out of it must be true. And if someone asks you a loaded or complex question - resist the urge to give the simplistic reply if doing that is false for you.

Questions, comments and ideas are welcome and encouraged. Contact Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email mr@margaretruth.com or call 801-575-7103. You can also get details on private readings, Margaret's classes and blog at www.margaretruth.com