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Good Dating: Staying Healthy and Balanced after a Break-up--Part II
Submitted by Margaret Ruth on Thu, 2009-09-17 00:55
Dearest Margaret, my boyfriend and I broke up about 2 months ago because he is moving back to his country... My question is how do I deal with the sadness of his absence in my life? How do I love without feeling the need for him to be by my side?
Sati, Tanzania.
(This is the second part of the answer; find Part I here)
Spiritual and Psychic Self
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself during a time like this is making sure your spirit stays confident. Make sure that you constantly assure yourself that you are going to be fine, that your future is fine. You will be ok. Most of the clients I get for psychic and future readings only really need to know one thing and that is that they still have wonderful futures ahead and that they are okay.
For instance, many people feel frightened after a break up, especially if the relationship was a good and loving one. They worry they won’t find that kind of love again. Although this is illogical, the fears are real. Many people want the comfort of knowing there are many good experiences still waiting for them.
So do this for yourself. If fear or worry about your ability to have the future you want in the area of love affect your current well being, allow yourself deep meditations and visualizations where you affirm that your spirit will still thrive and your future is still safe.
Emotional Self and Addressing Insecurities
Much of what I wrote so far comes down to finding mental, spiritual and emotional ways to stay confident for the future and not give into our fears and insecurities. After a break up, some people find that parts of themselves are self-critical and feeling responsible for the relationship not working out into a long term one. Our buried fears and insecurities say scary things like: You’ll never have a love like that again! It won’t ever be that good again! There isn’t anyone else! You weren’t good enough or the other person would have stayed!
This type of inner chatter is one of most difficult thing a person can do to herself. Make sure that any fears about whether you were/are good enough and whether you will ever find long term love get dealt with. To keep those fears in any amount at any level is to do damage to yourself. Going to see a good psychotherapist is a good start. Reading uplifting, positive affirmation books and articles are another good remedy. Talking to someone like me who can read you and help discover where you are still harming yourself with negative feelings is one avenue. And there are many more.
You will know you are back to the balance you want when you FEEL good again most of the time. Trust the state of your feelings and they will tell you how far away you are from regaining your positive, happy outlook towards yourself and your future. And, thank you for the tough question!
And let me know how you do,
MR
Here is the questioner's response:
Hi Margaret,
Thank you so much for your wonderful response to my question. I can understand why it took you time to answer as your response covers all the diverse emotions I am experiencing at this time.
You are so accurate in your explanation. I do have a hard time letting go with the habits created during our time together and am gradually taking time to do things alone even though sometimes even a visit to the supermarket brings back so many memories. Other times I am calm and try go out with friends and spend time with family.
Your advice on calming my internal traffic is great and I will definitely tell myself each day that no matter what I will be fine. To a certain extent I believe this but sometimes the persistant chatterbox takes over.
I also need to constantly tell myself that it was not me, it was just circumstances as I do feel insecure at times and question my self worth. But having read your reply I know I can start taking positive steps towards a fulfilling life.
Thank you so much for this wonderful response and I will refer to it as my bible everytime I feel down and out.
Bless you with all my heart
Love
Sati
Questions, comments and ideas are welcome and encouraged. Contact Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email mr@margaretruth.com or call 801-575-7103. You can also get details on private readings, Margaret's classes and blog at www.margaretruth.com
I need to look at hundreds of hands over the next six months for a looming Palmistry Workbook manuscript due date, so I am now doing Palmistry readings in-person or via Skype! If you have been wanting a personal palm reading, contact Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email mr@margaretruth.com or call 801-575-7103. You can also get details on private readings, Margaret’s classes and blog at www.margaretruth.com. Margaret Ruth has been on radio, television, published in newspapers and magazines and major websites. She is the author of Superconscious Connections: The Simple Psychic Truths of Perfectly Satisfying Relationships (Sept 2010)
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself during a time like this is making sure your spirit stays confident. Make sure that you constantly assure yourself that you are going to be fine, that your future is fine. You will be ok. Most of the clients I get for psychic and future readings only really need to know one thing and that is that they still have wonderful futures ahead and that they are okay.
For instance, many people feel frightened after a break up, especially if the relationship was a good and loving one. They worry they won’t find that kind of love again. Although this is illogical, the fears are real. Many people want the comfort of knowing there are many good experiences still waiting for them.
So do this for yourself. If fear or worry about your ability to have the future you want in the area of love affect your current well being, allow yourself deep meditations and visualizations where you affirm that your spirit will still thrive and your future is still safe.
Emotional Self and Addressing Insecurities
Much of what I wrote so far comes down to finding mental, spiritual and emotional ways to stay confident for the future and not give into our fears and insecurities. After a break up, some people find that parts of themselves are self-critical and feeling responsible for the relationship not working out into a long term one. Our buried fears and insecurities say scary things like: You’ll never have a love like that again! It won’t ever be that good again! There isn’t anyone else! You weren’t good enough or the other person would have stayed!
This type of inner chatter is one of most difficult thing a person can do to herself. Make sure that any fears about whether you were/are good enough and whether you will ever find long term love get dealt with. To keep those fears in any amount at any level is to do damage to yourself. Going to see a good psychotherapist is a good start. Reading uplifting, positive affirmation books and articles are another good remedy. Talking to someone like me who can read you and help discover where you are still harming yourself with negative feelings is one avenue. And there are many more.
You will know you are back to the balance you want when you FEEL good again most of the time. Trust the state of your feelings and they will tell you how far away you are from regaining your positive, happy outlook towards yourself and your future. And, thank you for the tough question!
And let me know how you do,
MR
Here is the questioner's response:
Hi Margaret,
Thank you so much for your wonderful response to my question. I can understand why it took you time to answer as your response covers all the diverse emotions I am experiencing at this time.
You are so accurate in your explanation. I do have a hard time letting go with the habits created during our time together and am gradually taking time to do things alone even though sometimes even a visit to the supermarket brings back so many memories. Other times I am calm and try go out with friends and spend time with family.
Your advice on calming my internal traffic is great and I will definitely tell myself each day that no matter what I will be fine. To a certain extent I believe this but sometimes the persistant chatterbox takes over.
I also need to constantly tell myself that it was not me, it was just circumstances as I do feel insecure at times and question my self worth. But having read your reply I know I can start taking positive steps towards a fulfilling life.
Thank you so much for this wonderful response and I will refer to it as my bible everytime I feel down and out.
Bless you with all my heart
Love
Sati
Questions, comments and ideas are welcome and encouraged. Contact Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email mr@margaretruth.com or call 801-575-7103. You can also get details on private readings, Margaret's classes and blog at www.margaretruth.com
I need to look at hundreds of hands over the next six months for a looming Palmistry Workbook manuscript due date, so I am now doing Palmistry readings in-person or via Skype! If you have been wanting a personal palm reading, contact Psychic Margaret Ruth on her Facebook page, email mr@margaretruth.com or call 801-575-7103. You can also get details on private readings, Margaret’s classes and blog at www.margaretruth.com. Margaret Ruth has been on radio, television, published in newspapers and magazines and major websites. She is the author of Superconscious Connections: The Simple Psychic Truths of Perfectly Satisfying Relationships (Sept 2010)
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